For those struggling with unresolved past trauma, they may turn to sex, porn, or masturbation to help them get by. Over time, these sexual pursuits can spiral into compulsive sexual behavior called hypersexuality disorder. If this sounds familiar, you may be struggling with hypersexuality as a coping mechanism.
When you have hypersexuality disorder, things in your daily life—called triggers—can easily make you want to act out sexually. So if you’re trying to overcome your hypersexuality disorder, the first step is understanding your triggers and how you can avoid them.
What is Hypersexuality?
It’s a word you may have come across, but it’s not necessarily what you think it means. Rather than having strong sexual desires, hypersexuality is a disorder that prevents you from controlling your sexual thoughts and actions. Also known as sex addiction, having hypersexuality disorder means you’re constantly thinking about sex.
This obsession with sex can manifest as excessive porn consumption, cybersex, or intrusive sexual fantasies. You may feel compelled to engage in increasingly hazardous sexual pursuits, such as paying for a sex worker or having sex with multiple partners—even strangers. This escalating compulsive sexual behavior can make a major impact on your life, damaging your career, your mental and physical health, and your relationships with the people you love most.
According to the Mayo Clinic, about 6% to 8% of American adults struggle with hypersexuality disorder, which could be up to approximately 24 million people. So how can you know if you have a sex addiction? Here are some symptoms to look out for:
Symptoms and Signs of Hypersexuality Disorder
- Unrestricted amounts of time spent planning, thinking about, or participating in sexual activities
- Regularly acting out sexually without considering how it would impact yourself as well as other people
- Responding to feelings or circumstances by participating in sexual urges, fantasies, or behaviors over and over again.
- The inability to control or rein in your sexual activities
Understanding Your Compulsive Sexual Triggers
If you’re using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism, you can easily be triggered by various things throughout your day. But what does it mean to be triggered? When you’ve experienced trauma in your life, a trigger can easily remind you of this trauma—even making you feel like you’re re-experiencing the traumatic event just as you did the first time. People with mental health conditions like PTSD or eating disorders can experience triggers as well.
Though experts aren’t precisely sure how triggers are created in the brain, it’s clear that triggering memories can make an impact years—even decades—later. And sometimes, triggers can cause strong emotions even before someone is aware of them.
When you have hypersexuality disorder, both external and internal sexual triggers can set you down a path of compulsive thoughts or behaviors. The context of these triggers may be twofold. They could be a negative feeling that you want to flee from strongly. Or, they may be an intense reminder of some sexual pleasure you’ve experienced in the past. Examples of triggers include:
External Sexual Triggers
- Certain times of the day
- People you know
- A specific restaurant or coffee shop where you broke up
- Something on the internet
- Any drug or substance
- Various smells
Internal Sexual Triggers
- A traumatic memory
- A specific sexual fantasy
- Loneliness
- Stress
- Boredom
- Anger
- Sadness
To learn how to cope with hypersexuality triggers in your own life, you first need to know what they are. Take some time to reflect on your specific sexual triggers. What comes to mind? Write them down. Knowing your triggers is one of the key initial steps toward long-term healing from hypersexuality and trauma.
How to Cope with Hypersexuality Triggers: Practical Ideas
Compulsive sexual triggers can come from anywhere throughout your day, and not everyone will have the same triggers. Once you have an idea of what triggers you, you can begin to seek out healthier ways to cope the next time they arise. Here are some ideas that will help you avoid using hypersexuality as a coping mechanism in the future:
Avoid Triggering Activities
Though not every trigger can be avoided, you can likely cut off some external ones. Simply put, if meeting friends at the pub where you had a bad break-up is triggering for you, then don’t go. This will take sacrifice and discipline, but it’s worth it.
Follow the Plan Your Therapist Provides
Many struggling with sex addiction will seek the help of a professional mental health counselor or CSAT therapist. If you do, you must stick to the plan your therapist provides, making sure you attend each counseling session and keep up with your medications.
Seek Better Outlets
There are often several healthier ways to cope with trauma and unwanted feelings than compulsive sexual behavior. Seek out better outlets like a new hobby to pursue or a community recreational sports league.
Participate in Support Groups
A support group allows you to connect with men or women who’ve experienced similar struggles. This helps you to find community, avoid loneliness, and learn from others. Your therapist will likely have some local or online support group recommendations.
Meditate and Exercise
Have you ever thought about taking a hike in the park to clear your head? Both meditation and exercise are healthier distractions from compulsive sexual triggers. Plus, they can increase your confidence, enhance your mood, and help alleviate any mental health disorder symptoms.
Stay Focused on the Long-Term
Think about the long-term goals you’ve set with your therapist and keep these on the forefront of your mind when difficulties arise. Though you may encounter challenges (even setbacks), let your healthy, ideal future keep driving you forward.
Ready to Overcome Hypersexuality as a Coping Mechanism? Integrative Life Center is Here to Help
Sometimes triggers can feel like they’re unavoidable. If you’re struggling with hypersexuality as a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma, we can help at Integrative Life Center. Using a trauma-informed, holistic approach to sex addiction treatment, we utilize both traditional and experiential therapies to address the root causes of your hypersexuality disorder. By partnering with us, you can both heal from past trauma and reclaim the life you deserve, free from sex addiction. To learn more, contact us today.
