It’s easy to feel on top of the world in a loving relationship with someone. Simply put, being in love is a wonderful thing. But when love addiction enters the picture, a relationship can get turned upside down. That’s why it’s important to understand the common love addiction symptoms—and get the help you need if you’re concerned that either your or your loved one’s affections are unhealthy.
What is Love Addiction?
So exactly what is love addiction? If you’re struggling with love addiction symptoms, that means you have an unhealthy, even obsessive fixation on your partner or loved one. Essentially, you’re dependent on your partner and will alter your life to be with them. This may range from devoting all your time and energy towards your partner or neglecting your own health, well-being, career, and relationships to remain together.
At the same time, if you’re a love addict, you’re likely addicted to the process of falling in love and being in a relationship. Often, you’re more drawn to the early stages of the relationship, when the initial feelings of love are most magnified. Falling in love with someone brings euphoria, and you become dependent on those feelings like a drug addict may become dependent on drugs. However, once the initial feelings wear off, it’s common for love addicts to seek out a new relationship to capture those euphoric feelings again.
The Four Love Addiction Types
Love addiction may look different from person to person, even influencing symptoms of love addiction. In fact, there are four types of love addiction, including:
- Obsessive: An obsessive love addiction involves having trouble detaching from your partner. Such an addict will stay with the partner even if it’s an unhealthy relationship out of fear of being alone.
- Codependent: Signs of a codependent relationship include the love addict using their partner to enhance their own self-worth. They may feel validated in trying to fix a partner who is emotionally unavailable or struggles with addictions of their own.
- Narcissistic: A narcissistic love addict will control the relationship. Driven by selfishness, the addict will exploit their partner to boost their own ego.
- Ambivalent/Avoidant: A love avoidant addict may struggle with fear of intimacy, seeking emotionally unavailable partners as a result. They also can experience several instances of unrequited love.
Common Love Addiction Symptoms to Look Out For
As mentioned previously, love addiction symptoms can vary based on the relationship. That’s why it’s helpful to know a range of symptoms to look out for as you look at your own relationships and romantic partners. However, the most consistently recognizable symptom of love addiction is the unhealthy fixation on another person that leads to obsessive compulsions, shares VerywellMind.com. This may look like calling someone too often, trying to control the other person, or stalking.
According to PsychCentral.com and psychologist Kerry Cohen, the signs of love addiction include two key traits. First, your feelings and behaviors associated with love will often lead to negative, distressing consequences for yourself and others. And second, you rely on romantic partners to meet your needs and avoid emotional pain.
While these signs can be helpful to identify an unhealthy relationship, other love addiction symptoms include:
- The need to be “in love”
- Chasing new love interests regularly
- The inability to be alone
- Feeling incomplete if you don’t have a partner
- Feeling lost without your partner
- Fearing your partner leaving you
- Prioritizing being in love over having a healthy relationship
- Obsessing over potential romantic partners
- Getting depressed and obsessive when a romantic interest declines your advances
- Putting your partner on a pedestal
- Intense euphoric feelings associated with a new love interest
- Waning interest in your partner once the relationship is established
- Finding it challenging to leave an unhealthy relationship
- Making poor life decisions based on your feelings for your partner
- Using a relationship to escape your negative feelings or circumstances
- Depending too much on your partner
- Needing romance and love for happiness
- Feeling withdrawal symptoms when you’re not in a romantic relationship
Love Addiction and Co-Occurring Disorders
If you or your loved one can resonate with any of the love addiction symptoms above, there’s often more going on beneath the surface. Love addicts may deal with co-occurring disorders alongside their addiction. It’s common for love addicts to struggle with anxiety disorder or depression, and the challenges of love addiction may exacerbate these conditions. Eating disorders and personality disorders are also associated with love addiction. And an addiction to love, like many other addictions, is usually rooted in unresolved past trauma, such as adverse childhood experiences.
What Should You Do If You Recognize Love Addiction Symptoms in Your Own Life?
If you think you may have a love addiction, then your relationship with your partner (or any future partners, for that matter) is likely an unhealthy one. However you can find healing and learn how to have healthy romantic relationships. The best way to do this is by seeking professional help for your love addiction symptoms. After all, an addiction can’t be healed by just managing your symptoms by yourself. You need to address the underlying root causes of these symptoms with trauma-informed care.
At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN, our intimacy disorder treatment program provides comprehensive love addiction treatment personalized to your unique needs. As a dual diagnosis treatment facility, we can also address any co-occurring disorders simultaneously, giving you the best chance at long-term healing all in one place. If you’re ready to reclaim your life and be empowered to have healthy relationships, call our team today.
