We carry our phones around with us wherever we go these days. They’ve become a big part of our lives—so much that if we don’t have our phones when we’re out and about, it doesn’t quite feel right. But when you’re dealing with a sex addiction, the ever-present reality of your phone only makes your daily struggle all the more difficult.
Your phone can actually become a tool for further pursuing your sex addiction in various ways. In fact, according to a 2019 study by Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute, 31% of American adults surveyed had engaged in phone sex at some point in their lives. It’s not surprising that some can struggle constantly with phone sex addiction as a result. And because we use our phones all the time, untethering from a phone sex addiction is a real challenge.
What is Phone Sex Addiction?
When you have a phone sex addiction, it means you’re using your phone to fulfill your sexual desires. It’s essentially a symbiotic relationship between sex addiction and your phone that’s difficult to break. Consequently, you’re constantly preoccupied with your sexual fantasies, urges, and other compulsive sexual behavior and the temptation to focus on gratifying these desires is always there as long as your phone is nearby.
Typical Phone Sex Addiction Activities include:
- Engaging in sexual intercourse over the phone
- Dialing a phone sex hotline
- Sending sexually explicit texts, photos, and other material over your phone
- Sexting a paid service or someone you know
Unresolved past trauma is often at the root of any sex addiction, phone or not. That means overcoming your addiction is more than just about ending unwanted behavior patterns. And even more challenging, as you engage in increased phone sex on a consistent basis, your brain gets used to the rewarding pleasure generated by each experience.
Similar to what porn does to the brain, any connection to your phone can cause a chemical release of dopamine in your brain behind the scenes as it expects the rewarding phone sex activity. As your brain gets dependent on this steady stream of dopamine, you become further entrenched in your sex addiction, making it more arduous to overcome. Every notification, text, call, or other ping soon becomes a reminder that you need more phone sex (and more dopamine).
Phone Sex Addiction Symptoms: What to Look Out For
When you’re struggling with a phone sex addiction, your urges, behaviors, and fantasies are compulsive and uncontrollable to the point of obsession. Before long, your time, attention, and even money are spent on your sex addiction, derailing your day-to-day life, career, and relationships.
Lots of people frequently use their phones today for various reasons. But if you think you may be engaging in excessive phone use to fulfill your sexual desires, how can you know if you have a phone sex addiction? Here are some common phone sex addiction symptoms and signs to look out for:
- Feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or depressed about your phone sex pursuits
- Struggling with the inability to put your phone down
- Spending large amounts of time and energy engaging in phone sex
- Fearing that others may see your phone screen or even touch your phone
- Disregarding the consequences of your phone sex activities
- Experiencing financial issues due to costly phone sex services
How to Break Free From Phone Sex Addiction
If you’re wanting to overcome your phone sex addiction, the idea of throwing your phone into the ocean may sound tempting at times. But realistically, getting rid of your phone isn’t an option for most people. If you want to truly break free from your addiction, you’ll need to start by taking significant steps to create and honor boundaries around your phone usage, such as:
Establishing “No Phone Use” Times
There likely needs to be certain hours of the day where your phone is off limits, especially when you’re most tempted to use it for sexual urges. Perhaps that means putting your phone in another room at bedtime or not using it at all after you come home from work. Not only is it a good idea to set consistent reminders to put away your phone; you also may want to tell loved ones not to call or text during those “no phone use” times.
Removing Apps
Let’s face it. There are likely a number of apps you use to feed your sex addiction. Some may be obvious, while others—such as social media or dating apps—may not be as much. Take inventory of what apps truly trigger you, and then delete them. This may be a big sacrifice, but it will help to sever the connection between your phone and your sex addiction.
Finding Accountability Partners
Breaking an addiction is easier when you have people there to help. That’s why finding an accountability partner among someone you trust is highly important to overcoming your phone sex addiction. An easy way to do this is to use an accountability app on your phone in conjunction with your chosen accountability partner.
Seeking Therapy
Of all the steps mentioned, this may be the most important. While setting boundaries is helpful, you still need to address your sex addiction’s root causes. That’s where comprehensive sex addiction therapy can help you uncover the underlying trauma of your addiction and learn to overcome it long-term through healthy coping mechanisms.
Struggling With Phone Sex Addiction? Find Healing at Integrative Life Center
While a phone sex addiction can feel all-consuming, don’t lose heart. You can untether from your sex addiction (and still keep your phone in the process). At Integrative Life Center in Nashville, TN, we provide personalized, comprehensive sex addiction treatment options that can directly address the root causes of your struggles. If you’re ready to feel empowered to enjoy life on your own terms—without addiction weighing you down—call us today.
